Day 30 – The Root of Immigration

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see only the polarized opinions of “for” and “against” immigration, thus missing the point of why immigration exist and how to solve it and failing to see/understand/realize that immigration is a consequence/outflow of inequality and that the implementation of a global system of equality would stop the wars, the poverty and the starvation that is causing the mass migration in the world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define people that have fled from either economic misery or war as “fortune hunters”, without questioning who I would be without access to money or in a situation where my family members faced starvation or the threat of being killed in a war

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to particularly define so called “economic immigrants” as “fortune hunters”, because I haven’t allowed myself to see that lacking money and thus facing the absolute horrors of not being able to feed my children or myself as a “valid humanitarian reason” to flee, because I have accepted and allowed myself to buy the idea as presented by experts in education/media that tells us that economic hardships is always self-inflicted and if one is poor “one is to blame oneself“

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that “our” wealth is largely built upon the exploitation of people and resources from the so called “third world”, and that it thus is us, the elite of this world, that in fact are the fortune hunters at the expense of others and that we in fact creHate the immigrant

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that human beings that have left their homes and fled thousands of miles to an uncertain destiny have done so for the sake of profit and self-interest and thus by choice/free-will, and not as the absolutely desperate “last way out” in an attempt to survive as it really is

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and understand that immigration is a mere symptom of a dysfunctional global system which we’re all responsible for/participating in

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore cause and effect in an attempt to abdicate my self-responsibility

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only be concerned with the well-being of the group I belong to and define myself according to and thus I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and realize that the interconnected and interdependent nature of this world/reality implies that if one part of this world/reality is harmed/affected it also harms/affects myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive immigrants as a threat to my cultural identity and believe that there is any value whatsoever in this imaginary identity, not seeing that this identity that I define myself according to is determined by a set of programmed and conditioned attributes/symbols that would differ if I would have been brought up within another cultural context

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see the vanity in valuing and defining myself by a national structure that will inevitably fall/vanish

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that nationalism as separation is but one of the rings on the water emanating from the separation of each one as each one’s separated individual ego/mind bubble

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that “the other” is an idea deliberately created to divert attention to a scapegoat and prevent the masses from uniting and to gain economic power and dominion over others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participated in the creation of “the other” in my greed and fear of losing economic domination

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be emotionally moved and experience pride whenever I see the flag of the nation I was born into, and thus I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize that a flag in fact/in the physical reality is a colored piece of cloth which in my mind has become a resonant symbol that controls and limits me and that is deliberately created to arouse these feelings of pride in order to separate humanity and direct/control capital/resources/power

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the earth and life itself is not subordinate nor dependent on nations created by a few people a few hundred years ago

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize/understand that the boundaries drawn up by men on maps are not real, but something we have super-imposed and forced on the physical reality

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see/realize/understand that there are wars, atrocities and abuse behind every national border and nation-building

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put the national interests ahead of what is best for life as a whole

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the fact that animals don’t define themselves according to nations, cultures or borders and yet able to exist here in this physical reality as life as children of the earth
I see/understand/realize that immigration is always caused by lack of money, thus I commit myself to stand for the implementation of an Equal Money System that would stop the wars, famines and poverty that makes people flee

I realize that I am not defined by my nationality and that all beings on earth are sprung from the same earth sharing the same time-space-conditions. I realize that nationalism is born out of fear / survival / greed / ego. I swear my allegiance to the planet earth that is my home that I share with millions of creatures, in recognition that what is best for the whole also is best for me. I’m committing myself to do everything I can to implement a system that meets the needs of all earthlings and therefore puts an end to competition, greed, war, starvation and survival-based fears.

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Day 29 – Happiness as Revenge

This image/statement has been spread on facebook lately and it clearly reveals the spiteful and vicious polarized ego-nature of happiness as part of the religion of self. Yet it is bullshit like this that is promoted as something apparently “great” and “profound”. If happiness has its starting-point in revenge, is it really something to promote? If happiness, as the statement suggests, is driven and is manifested by someone else’s misfortune, is it then really something to promote? As long as one being’s happiness on earth is limited, is the fulfillment of my personal happiness either relevant or real?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be at war with my neighbor in the pursuit of my personal happiness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get an energetic kick out of seeing my neighbor unhappy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the fulfillment of my personal happiness priority and more important than the fulfillment of the happiness and well-being of all living beings on earth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sacrifice the forests, the oceans, the lakes and the animal kingdom in my quest for personal happiness

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see and understand that if each of us seeks the fulfillment of our own personal happiness, it will lead to the destruction of earth and all its ecosystems and, ultimately, the destruction of myself

I forgive myself that I allowed myself to see that “happiness” is a trap designed to keep me on a never-ending hunt for money and consumption

I see and realize that the desires and “dreams” that are the subject of my quest for happiness, which I call “my” dreams and desires, in fact are the desires and dreams that the consumption system has imprinted me with, which has sent me on a never ending pursuit for the perfect man/woman, the perfect car, the perfect house, the perfect family, the newest gadget, etc. – the whole “success story” as presented in the media in the form of pictures, which I accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to, in order to create effective consumer robots

I redefine happiness from being an individual energy experience that I can only attain by fulfilling the picture/idea of happiness as presented by media/commercialism, to be an assurance that the life of all earthlings are honored and that all parts of earth, that is my home – the forests the lakes the oceans seas, the steppes – are protected and no longer threatened due to greed and profit, and that no child born will ever have to suffer from hunger and poverty or will ever have to worry about a future without money

Day 28 – Judging my Wrists

Here I’m looking at an event that took place in a classroom where I was experiencing shame and judged my physical wrists as disgusting as someone was laughing when I was raising my arm in the air to answer a question.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take the laughter of girl 1 and girl 2 when I raised my hand/arm in class personally and within that experience create a judgment towards my arm/wrist and myself which I hold on to to this day, by assuming that they were laughing at and judging my wrist as disgusting and within that I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to project my own self-judgment of my wrists onto girl 1 and girl 2

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take the decision that day to never wear short sleeved shirts in school/public, because I accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind as ideas and assumptions where I presumed that they were talking about my wrists when I now realize that they could have laughed about anything else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ask myself “What is wrong with me?” and go into a mode where I scan myself to find faults when I someone is laughing at me/when I believe someone is directing laughter at me and go “this must be it” and create a self-judgment towards the point I find, not realizing that the self-judgment towards that point already existed within me before the laughter

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a character within and as myself where I  hide my wrists either by hiding my arms behind my back or crossing them or by hiding them under clothes because I as a character fear that I will re-experience the event where laughter was directed at me and that I will experience the same humiliation and embarrassment again

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my character to create and participate in a chain-reaction that starts with shame and embarrassment whenever the sleeves pull up and reveal my wrists and then leads to a crawling and uncomfortable sensation in the body and to me nervously looking around to make sure that no one noticed my wrists to then quickly pull down the sleeves again

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memories of the above mentioned event to the extent where I accept and allow myself to limit and suppress myself based on past experiences and limit and suppress myself according to how I want to come through as an image

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing me as my character to go into petrification and anxiety thinking “fuck, they must be disgusted with me now” when I realize that someone was looking at my wrists, as I as my character was convinced that they were judging me as disgusting

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my natural physical wrists as disgusting because they are thinner than the wrists of men in general and thus judge myself as inferior to other men because the belief is that to be a man I have to have thick and strong wrists.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my wrists as unmanly and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to come through as what is generally considered as manly as presented by tv, movies, magazines, and that if I don’t come through as that picture presentation/idea I am somehow inferior/flawed/a failure

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the physical shape and size of my wrists as disgusting, ugly, flawed, inferior or anything else for that matter, not seeing that I’m imposing a mental idea based in taught and programmed norms on the physical

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as inferior to guys/men with thick and strong wrists as having thin and weak wrists makes me feminine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge guys/men with thick and strong wrists as superior to me as I had defined my wrists as feminine which makes me inferior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge every part of my physical body that doesn’t fit the norm/standard as disgusting and use it to reinforce my belief in myself as inferior, failed and flawed

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into comparison when I see wrists that I deem as “perfect” and within that comparison judge myself and my physical wrists as disgusting, inferior, flawed

When and as I hear people laughing I stop myself from going into self-victimization and taking it personally, because I see that I assume that people are laughing because I believe there is something “wrong” with me and within that try to find faults in relation to my physical appearance or expression as to say to myself “hah, see – there is something wrong with me” to validate the self-victimizing character of “I’m not good enough”. I realize within this that I’m participating in an alternate reality in my mind where I am reacting to my own self-judgment about me not being “good-enough” in terms of body appearance/expression and project my self-judgment onto the people laughing and turn the laughter into a judgment and I realize that I’m bullying myself through the eyes of another for the sake of validating a character

I commit myself to stop being directed by and make decisions based on ideas of what acceptable physical appearance is as I see that I’m compromising and limiting myself according to a set of  values conditioned and trained by images in media

When and as I see myself alter my posture/physical position as trying to hide my arms I stop, I push through the initial desire to and breathe until I the fear has dissipated

When and as I see myself going into the character of shame and embarrassment for my physical appearance, as with my wrists, I stop myself within the realization that I’m existing as specific memories instead of being here within/as my physical body, and I commit myself to within each such character find each specific main memory that activates that character to be able to stop myself from existing within automation to become a self-directive living being

I commit myself to stop judging myself in the eyes of others because I realize that I project  onto others that they are judging me as “not good enough”/”faulty”/”flawed” when it is in fact I who’s judging myself based on what I have come to define as “good enough” or “not good enough” by accepting and allowing the conditioning/programming by media/consumerism of what is good enough/not good enough within and as myself

I commit myself to stop being influenced by and wanting to live up to ideals as images of body/physical appearance perfection that I have seen in movies, TV, magazines, commercials which I use as a reference of how a man is supposed to look/appear and constantly measure and judge myself against, because I see that I define myself according to fabricated images that are of no physical or practical value

Artwork by Kelly Posey:

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Day 27 – The Root of Crime

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame the being that commits what the law has defined a crime as the root for the crime, thus disregarding my own responsibility and humanities collective responsibility in the creation and maintenance of a casino survival system where crime is a necessity if one happens to be born into poverty

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that more laws, harder punishments and more policemen will eradicate crime, ignoring that such measures only further polarize the society and thus perpetuates and create even more crime

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to link the dramatic rise in crime with the increasing inequality gaps and the failing economy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore all the statistics that clearly reveals that the greater income inequality a society has, the higher the crime rates are

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that the law is capitalistic and since the time of Hammurabi designed to protect money/the interests of the elite and designed to keep inequality and the polarity of poor and rich in place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that we’re all “Equal Before the Law”, failing to see that those without money that have committed survival based crimes are more likely to be punished/punished harder than those with money and “high social standing” that have committed greed based crimes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit to the stereotyped picture of a criminal as imprinted by media as a deviant and degenerate being, and thus ignore the greed based crimes committed by those that already have access to money that in fact cause greater overall harm to society than the survival based crimes

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame and condemn particular social groups in relation to crime, such as immigrants, instead of considering the social conditions of those particular groups

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that the greed based crimes also are a consequence of the survival based monetary system where fear of loss is a constant factor within the life of the haves

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and realize that the friction that is created between the haves and have-nots are manifesting back-chat as jealousy and anger which leads to violence

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that the current survival based system creates untrustworthy and deceptive human beings that are in constant competition with each other

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see, understand and realize that the majority of crimes currently – such as burglary, mugging, prostitution, gang activity, poaching, drug trade, human trafficking and all other organized crime – is money related and has the root in scarcity of money

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at “crime” and “criminals” as the main issue/problem within society and within this ignore that crime is merely one of many symptoms of a dysfunctional system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore that as long as inequality exist crime will exist

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to label people that point out inequality as the root of crime as “naive”, “sentimental” and being “too lenient” with “criminals” – failing to see that what is being pointed out has not anything to do with sentimental “tearfulness” for particular individuals, but a clear common sense understanding that lack of money and inequality in fact breeds crime

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to be honest with myself and asked myself who I would have been without money

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to be honest with myself within realizing that I would also steal and even kill to survive if I were placed in the shoes of a human being that lacked access to money

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that the robbers, prostitutes, drug dealers etc. aren’t so by choice, but are submitted to his/hers living conditions and thus forced into a life of crime as a desperate means to get access to what they require

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be more interested in complaining about crime/criminals than REAL practical solutions, for the sake of elevating my own ego and pointing my fingers in self-righteousness in an attempt to protect my way of life within inequality

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is such a thing as a “criminal nature” and argue that certain human traits, such as intelligence, personality and chemical and genetic make-up may predispose certain individuals to engage in criminal behavior, within realizing that within such a defeatist approach I am giving up and submitting myself to knowledge and preconceived ideas  as programmed by social darwinistic education, Hollywood stereotyping and biased news reporting

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to defend the belief in there being such a thing as a “criminal nature” by pointing at the unsuccessful rehabilitation rates of criminals, failing to see that any individual rehabilitation approach is useless as the being defined as a “criminal” is doomed to continue his/her life of crime after serving his/her sentence due to his/her unchanged life situation/living condition

I forgive myself for blindly accepting and allowing mass media to define social problems instead of assessing and investigating them for myself within common sense

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that if the law was in any way concerned with the safety of the citizens, the focus would be to eradicate the main motives for crime which are inequality and profit

I commit myself to stand for an Equal Money System that would eradicate the whole polarized casino game, where some are being “fortunate” to be born with a silver spoon in their mouth and some into an existence where every day is a struggle for survival where they are forced to steal and murder, by giving everyone unconditional support from birth with an access to all the basic needs required to live a dignified life.

I commit myself to stop all preconceived ideas and judgments in relation to crime and criminals to be able to ascertain exactly how the clockwork of society is ticking and investigate what the basis for human behavior is

I commit myself to stop participating in personal blame as I see that I’m within personal blame avoiding the real root of crime, and as I see that I’m also subject to the same law system and the same monetary system and that my economic future in no way is certain

I commit myself to expose the stereotyping in mainstream media to show that it deliberately ignores the link between monetary inequality and crime and that the root of crime is the unfair socio-economic structures of the capitalistic system

I commit myself to remove fear of survival from this world which is the dominant factor that controls and directs virtually all our decisions and actions, by making sure that a system of absolute and global equality is implemented

“As Lao Tzu suggested, the more laws we have the more crimes we will have. With the Equal Life Equal Money System we will have only ONE LAW, That which is best for ALL LIFE always. This will be the foundation for Peace and Happiness and is Actual Practical Real Enlightenment.” – Bernard Poolman

See the vlogs in the following playlist for further debunking:
The Law System Exposed

Day 26 – Hell-th day

 Here I’m looking at a memory of a “National Health Day” in school where I was experiencing embarrassment when I had to undress in front of and be medically examined by women. I am addressing the humiliation, embarrassment and self-disgust that I experienced when they told me that I was in the danger zone of becoming overweight and other points in relation to nakedness that now has unfolded.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience embarrassment and shame when I’m naked in front of others because I have accepted and allowed myself to define nakedness as shameful, because it is bad, dirty, secret and private

I commit myself to stop looking at nakedness as sinful, shameful, bad, dirty, secret and private within realizing that I was born naked and as the new born child didn’t hold any judgments or definitions of nakedness until I was taught a moral idea that nakedness is “bad”, “dirty”, “shameful”, “secret” and “private” by parents, adults, religion and media

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience embarrassment and shame when I’m naked in front of others because I have accepted and allowed myself to define my naked physical body as shameful, because I have defined it as disgusting, shapeless and undeveloped

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid beaches and bath houses because of fear of being seen naked because I have submitted and limited myself to an idea of nakedness as taught by media, parents, adults and religion

I commit myself to stop embarrassment in relation to my naked physical body. I accept my naked physical body and the form/shape as a direct result/consequence of what I have accepted and allowed. I refuse to look at my body with eyes conditioned by years of televised and printed images that I have accepted and allowed myself to value and compare myself against. I stop and I breathe – I do not accept or allow embarrassment to direct and control my self-expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that anyone who has seen me naked has lost all respect that they might have had for me, not realizing that I’m projecting my own definitions of respect onto them

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek the respect of others in separation from self by accepting and allowing myself to define respect according to the validation I receive from others in relation to my physical body

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get embarrassed when undressing in front of women I define as “attractive” because I am projecting my own self judgments in relation to my body appearance onto them, believing that they will judge me the same way

I commit myself to stop judging my naked physical body in the eyes of another as I’m participating in an alternate reality where I project onto another that they are judging me as unattractive when it is in fact I who’s judging myself based on what I have come to define as attractive or unattractive by accepting and allowing the media/consumerism programming of what is attractive/unattractive within and as myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be disgusted by my physical body because I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the ‘standard model’ of what one should look like and through my comparison did not fit/model/shape it according to the generally accepted idea/image of what a healthy/good looking body is supposed to be like

I refuse to be defined by the way I look as I see and realize that “looks” are definitions glued on to physical shapes that fluctuate according to cultural conditioning/programming and serves no practical purpose.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define nakedness as I learned how to define nakedness by my father as shameful as in sinful and something that needs to be hidden and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as a copy of my father

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my father for my fear of nakedness and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give myself up within believing that I’m bound and submitted to the way I was programmed by my parents

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that exposing my naked body is immoral because I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate myself to a religious idea of morality that proclaims that nakedness is somehow sinful, immoral and bad and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge and define nakedness through the eyes of morality where I charge certain body parts of the human physical body as immoral

I commit myself to stop looking at my body through the eyes of morality as I see, understand and realize that all parts of my body are equal pieces of flesh on which I have super-imposed ideas and judgments as conditioned by media, parents, adults and religion which I have been defining myself according to

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to internalize the experience of self-disgust and shame when I was told that ‘I am in the danger zone of being overweight’ and got the question ‘eating a lot of crisps’ when being examined while undressed by school nurses, and I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take the statements and questions personally, by interpreting them as judgments, and thus made a decision to integrate the experience of self-disgust and shame as a part of “who I am”

I commit myself to stop myself from taking it personally and going into self-disgust and shame when someone remark on/make statements about my physical shape. I realize within this that I’m participating in an alternate reality in my mind where I am reacting to my self-judgment about myself not being “good-enough” in terms of body appearance, thus turning it into an experience where I experience self-disgust, and thus I commit myself to remain here by looking at/assessing the validity of the remarks/statements with practical common sense eyes and apply whatever I find supportive to my physical body in the statement/remark

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react to the experience of being told that I was overweight by physically compromising myself by starving myself as I believed that I had to make myself thin in order to become an acceptable/good person in the eyes of the nurse whom I had accepted and allowed myself to define as authority and thus who’s words had to be followed and who’s statements “must be so”

I commit myself to listen to and support my physical body within self-trust instead of placing/abdicating my trust in doctors and “health experts”, because I see and realize that the health industry I’m placing trust in is profiting on my insecurity/fear/lack of self-trust, and that I’m compromising my physical body for the sake of reaching an idea of perfection in the eyes of the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge visible body fat as unhealthy and bad and a thin body without visible body fat as healthy and good because I have accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to the concept and idea within a picture presentation that fat=bad/unhealthy and thin=healthy/good as promoted by the health industry/media/parents

I allow myself to see that there is no such thing as a generally “healthy” and “unhealthy” body type, but specific body designs that require specific support and nourishment, thus I commit myself to support and nourish my body within understanding that my human physical body is the only point that I can trust and cross-reference in terms of what is actually supportive or not

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that the general perception of what a “healthy” body is has changed throughout the times as influenced by images spread through advertisement in order to trap the human between the polarities of “good enough”/”healthy”/”beautiful” and “not good enough”/”unhealthy”/”ugly” for the sake of generating money through making humans believe they can only attain this health and beauty by consuming certain products

I commit myself to expose the health industry as a money making machine that uses its authority placement to spread ideas and beliefs about “health” to profit on the fear, insecurity and uncertainty of the masses without any real concern for the well-being of people

I commit myself to through blogging and vlogging expose my own participation within ideas of beauty to show that we are all influenced and controlled by the same beauty system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compare myself in terms of body fat with my brother and within that comparison define/judge myself as thin/healthy/superior and my brother as fat/unhealthy/inferior and through this I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to take pride in and judge/define myself as healthy/superior and my brother as unhealthy/inferior within hearing my mother say “be a little more like Niklas” and “why can’t you be more like Niklas” to my brother  in relation to eating food/body fat, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to design my eating patterns for the sake of gaining positive feedback from my mother and for the sake of experiencing the energy of superiority over my brother

I commit myself to stop comparing myself with my brother in terms of body fat, as I see that it’s one of the strategies within the war with my brother to gain acceptance and positive feedback from my mother – a war that requires a polarity of “winner”/“loser” and “good”/”bad” – this is unacceptable abuse and I refuse to participate in this energy game

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Day 25 – Physical Comparison – Part 2

I’m continuing to look at memories in relation to self-judgment, specifically looking at comparison. In this event I was comparing a part of my body to another person’s and within that judging myself as less than/not as beautiful/not as good and going into embarrassment, and I noticed that when I have these thoughts I would become quiet in an attempt to make myself unnoticeable

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge a part of my body as not good enough and ugly in comparison with the attributes of other guys/men

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place emphasis on the word disgusting within allowing myself to see and experience myself as disgusting when / while I compare my physical body to the body of others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define and judge my natural body as disgusting

I commit myself to not allow the word disgusting within/as me because I see that I have integrated the word as a part of “who I am” as an idea and have manifested, lived and expressed myself according to that idea in separation from myself

I commit myself to not allow the automatic and immediate response of judging my body parts as disgusting whenever I see them by directing myself to stop, breathe and immediately apply specific self-forgiveness on whatever/however I am judging

I see and realize that the disgust is an automated response that has been programmed and designed by the consumerism system, where the polarities of “good enough”/”beautiful” and “not good enough”/”ugly” is deliberately created to generate friction = money

I commit myself to not accept and allow the judgments that come up within me in relation to my ‘physical body’ as I have seen and realized that the judgment that I have are all in relation to the commercialization of the human physical body that I have internalized as an idea within and as myself that I am comparing my physical body to. I allow myself to realize that it is ludicrous to compare myself to an idea

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into comparison when I see legs that I deem as “perfect” and within that comparison judge myself and my physical legs as disgusting and ugly

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that the definition “ugly” and “disgusting” are opinion based and fluctuating according to social norms/cultural programming and thus of no physical tangibility/value

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an image within my mind of what a “perfect” set of legs is and make that image into the standard ideal which all men are supposed to live up to

I commit myself to stop participating in judgment and comparison with other men in relation to physical appearance within understanding that giving value to appearance is giving value to ideas programmed and imprinted by media as part of the consumerism system and the commercialization of the human being

I commit myself stop myself from submitting myself to ideas of perfection as cultural norms/standards because I’m not willing to feed and support illusion at the expense of physical reality and because I see that by focusing on perfection of an image I compromise myself and my potential to perfect myself as living physical expression

I redefine perfection from that of living up to, reaching and fulfilling an ideal as a picture in separation from myself as programmed by media/consumerism to be that of walking myself into a trustworthy human being that isn’t directed, influenced and enslaved by the bondage and chains of my past programming within conditioned automatisms

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my legs as disgusting and ugly because I perceive them to be pale and un-muscular

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as inferior to guys/men with tan & fit/muscular legs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge guys/men with tan & fit/muscular legs as superior to me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the physical color of my skin and the physical shape of my legs as disgusting, ugly or anything else for that matter, not seeing that I’m imposing a mental idea based in taught and programmed norms on the physical

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be the judge of my physical body and as the judge of my physical body I as the judge have found my physical body to be lacking according to the standards that I had set within the idea that I as the judge has accepted and allowed to exist within and as me

I understand that the physical in itself/the living flesh as who I really am contains/holds no judgment, thus when I look at my physical human legs and see that I go into judgment and comparison I stop myself, I breathe myself back here until I clearly see reality – a pair of functioning physical legs that support me in my everyday life

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define and limit myself according to my physical appearance and according to the taught and programmed norms/standards of beauty and thus making myself less than the physical reality by existing as a walking image

I commit myself to stop being influenced by and wanting to live up to ideals as images of body/physical appearance perfection that I have seen in movies, TV-series, magazines, porn, commercials which I use as a reference of how a man is supposed to look/appear and constantly measure and judge myself against, because I see that I define myself according to fabricated images that are of no physical or practical value

I commit myself to expose the beauty system as part of the consumerism system and show that what we have come to define as “beautiful” and “ugly” isn’t deriving from some kind of “free thought” and individual preference, but pictures that has been installed from an early age for the sake of maximizing profit and create human beings that are always pursuing to attain and live up to the perfect image

I commit myself to stop trying to live up to ideals of beauty that I have accepted within myself because I see that I’m trapping myself within a polarity construct in which I will always have some point to live up to and “perfect” and go into an energetic low and self-judging backchat when I can’t live up to these ideals

I commit myself to stop giving value to beauty as it has no practical value that can be utilized in bringing about a physical existence that is best for all, but rather separates and divide beings into categories of “ugly”=”worthless”/inferior and “beautiful”=”worthy”/superior. I commit myself to expose the practical irrelevance of appearance and expose the beauty system whenever/wherever it is promoted

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can only accept myself if I live up to the media picture presentation of what a perfect man is

I commit myself to stop defining myself/my worth according to pictures of beauty outside of and in separation from myself and to apply myself as self-acceptance within honoring and stopping the torture with emotions and judgments of my human physical body

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into shame and embarrassment when my legs are naked in front of other guys/men within the belief that they are judging me as disgusting, ugly and inferior

I commit myself to stop judging myself for body parts/physical appearance and then generate shame and embarrassment within comparing myself to other men and project my self-judgment onto them to avoid that I’m in fact judging myself – because I see that I’m within the embarrassment and shame compromising and altering myself – by isolating myself/becoming silent/withdrawn, just because I give value to an alternate reality of ideals

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the approval of other guys/men in relation to how they see me

I commit myself to stop seeking approval outside of myself within understanding that the approval of another does not change/determine the reality of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give value to the possible judgments of others

I commit myself to stop judging myself in the eyes of others because I realize that I project  onto others that they are judging me as unattractive when it is in fact I who’s judging myself based on what I have come to define as attractive or unattractive by accepting and allowing the media/consumerism programming of what is attractive/unattractive within and as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others are making fun of that which I have judged within myself, believing that they are judging me behind my back and that I am the laughing stock of the conversation

I commit myself to not allow thoughts where I imagine that other people are judging me within the realization that I’m participating in an alternate reality, instead I breathe myself back here, and I stick to the physical reality by not participating in the internal backchat where I diminish myself

I forgive myself that through this belief I accept and allow myself to create a specific response pattern where the other guys / girls respond by reacting to my behavior, thus creating a point within and as myself where I give permission to them to judge me, thus confirming my belief that there is something wrong with me. I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that I am the creator of my own self prophesied creation

When I see myself going into silence and withdraw myself because I believe that I am being judged, I understand that I am responding in automation according to a trained/programmed pattern, instead of being the directive principle

I commit myself to not give attention to and act on the belief that I am being judged and ridiculed by supporting myself to push through the desire to withdraw and to instead participate and communicate with the beings

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create an alternate reality within my mind where I am being ridiculed and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react with embarrassment to this alternate reality/self-judgment

I realize that the reason I experience embarrassment and withdraw myself within fear is because I desire an outcome wherein I can attract women to fulfill the idea as what I have come to believe is my role as “a man”. I commit myself to not go into embarrassment because I see that

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing my desire to attract women is to influence and determine my expression/the experience of myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience shame and embarrassment when my legs are naked in front of girls/women, within the belief that they are judging me as disgusting, ugly and inferior to other guys/men and thus placing me lowest on the sex/relationship hierarchy

I commit myself to stop participating in a sex/relationship hierarchy wherein I compare myself to other men and judge myself as unworthy because I within my mind fail to live up to the standards of how a perfect man is supposed to look like/be and thus create an alternate dimension within and as myself where I believe that I’m less able to attract women, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself by accepting the idea promoted by media that I have imprinted within/as myself where we have accepted and allowed ourselves to believe that a  man’s worth is determined by our ability to attract women

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to imagine myself to be placed in a hierarchy in which I constantly compete with other men to get sex/relationships with women

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be attractive so that I attract women and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to attract women because I believe that it’s a man’s prime purpose to attract women

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and experience it as if I have failed as a man because I haven’t been able to attract women

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place a value in the idea that one is unfulfilled as a man if one hasn’t been able to attract women

I commit myself to  stop making it my main purpose/goal/agenda/priority to attract females as to experience validation from an outside source in separation from myself that I am a man, and instead I make it priority to develop a relationship with myself wherein I cultivate self-intimacy and self-worth

I commit myself to see that within a physical relationship as an agreement with another human being one is not dealing with appearance or looks, but with the expression of who each one is in the moment

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refuse and fear wearing shorts in public, even though my physical legs and my overall body would benefit from it and even though I would find it comfortable

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide and justify that I fear to/experience shame when I wear shorts with saying/thinking that “I don’t find it comfortable”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide as much of my physical body as possible with clothes

I commit myself to stop valuing fear and image above physical comfortability, by pushing myself to listen to and support my body as I see and realize that the desires and pictures I want to fulfill as physical appearance of myself is of no practical or physical value but actually compromise and limit my physical self for the sake of image/appearance, and I see, realize and understand that I am trying to live up to a picture which I measure myself against and diminish myself according to as programmed by media/the consumerism apparatus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make myself quiet among others, isolate myself, stay at home, not showing myself amongst others when I perceive myself as disgusting and unattractive and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to being directed by thoughts by reacting to the alternate reality where I judge myself as disgusting and unattractive and changing my behavior

I commit myself to push myself to not give into the reaction to isolate and be quiet as to hide myself as a reaction to me judging myself as disgusting as I see/realize/understand that I am acting/behaving according to and submitting myself to energy/experience/perception instead of challenging the reaction to see that it is not physically substantial/real

Day 24 – No Ledge

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be perceived as someone who “knows it all”/someone who possess great knowledge, to balance out the inferiority I experience when comparing myself to others in terms of perceived physical ability/appearance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and perceive that the more knowledge I possess the more alive I am and that the purpose of life is to accumulate knowledge and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to knowledge and information, not seeing that life is not determined by or dependent on knowledge

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience an energetic high/fulfillment of pride when I show off the knowledge I possess to others, and within that judge the others that do not possess the same knowledge as inferior and less than me and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use knowledge as a way to validate my ego

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compete and compare myself with my brother in terms of who possess the most knowledge, always trying to find new areas of knowledge where I can have the “upper hand”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as a victor when I have been able to trump my brother and show off greater knowledge than him, experiencing an energetic high and taking pride in having “beaten” him

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as a loser when I perceive that my brother has trumped me and showed off greater knowledge than me, experiencing an energetic low and shame for having been “beaten” by him

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be at energetic war with my brother

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that knowledge as names, numbers etc. stored in your brain is no different from information stored on a computer’s hard drive and completely useless if not put in practical application

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that the knowledge and information as names and numbers that I define myself according to are all man-made interpretations of reality

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become disappointed within the point of pursuing intellectuality/knowledge because I found myself to experience inferiority within that as well, and within that disappointment pursue the arts as a way to balance out the I experienced both in relation to physical and intellectual ability, seeing art as a field within which I could express myself outside of the boundaries of judgment, ignoring that I was still participating in the same inferiority/superiority construct which resulted in that I would find points to compare myself to within art as well

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge and define myself as intellectually inferior to others in school within comparing my test results and grades with others

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to immediately go into comparison when seeing the art of others and within that comparison either think “this is crap”, “I could have done this” or “this is amazing” to place myself in a neutral polarity point to be able to feed of both the negative and positive energy

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the art of others as “crap” so that I can judge myself as superior
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the art of others as “amazing” so that I can judge myself as inferior
I commit myself to stop accumulating knowledge for the sake of validating and elevating my ego and instead use the knowledge I have stored to debunk, expose and point at the miss-alignments within this world and to bring about a world that is best for all

I commit myself to stop accumulating knowledge for the sake of fulfilling a purpose in separation from myself, I see and understand that I don’t require great knowledge or great intellectual capacity to be here as a functional and effective living being and that self-honesty and common sense in no way is dependent on intellect or knowledge and information

I commit myself to make self-knowledge priority over knowledge as information outside of/in separation from myself

I commit myself to stop comparing myself with others as I see that I’m participating in energetic vampirism and energy addiction that only fuels my ego and further separates myself from life as who I really am

Day 23 – Back Pain

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my back pain will never go away

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become depressed within imagining a life of constant back pain

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that “I’d rather die than having to live with constant back pain”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will end up a cripple in a wheel chair

I commit myself to stop going into imagination as future projections and instead remain here as here is where I physically can support myself

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I’m condemned and cursed to experience injury, pain and ailments not realizing that I’m only always condemning and cursing myself through acceptance and allowance

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I deserve to be punished and experience pain because of all my perceived wrongdoings in the past, and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto and mark myself in relation to past-experiences instead of living and directing myself here
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see that I’m in fact inflicting myself with pain and punishing myself within the belief that I deserve to be punished
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I’m being punished when I’m physically hurt and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within the belief of being punished and cursed believe in and abdicate myself to a higher power outside of myself

I commit myself to stop all self-victimization within believing that I deserve to be punished by investigating the memories I define myself by and believe I need to punish myself for and release them with self-forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to blame “god” for my physical ailments and pains

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within blame curse and yell about how the physical existence and life has treated me unfairly because of my ailments and pains, and within that I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid and ignore that  I am responsible for my pains and ailments within participating in specific patterns that relate to the specific pains and ailments and thus have treated myself unfairly

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rather blame within ego than to take responsibility for my self-created and accepted and allowed pains and ailments which only accumulate more pain and ailments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become energetically addicted to pain and suffering within associating it with the positive memories of being taken care and comforted by my mother and grandmother

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to inflict myself with back pain within my tendency of not wanting to harm another  and within the belief that I have to “carry the load/the burdens of life”, creating a religious personality of an eternally suffering Job or Christ that reliefs man from suffering
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see it as virtuous and pious to suffer
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be perceived and perceive myself as pious and virtuous through my suffering, creating a martyr persona to attain “enlightenment” and “godly grace”

I commit myself to stop supporting my martyr persona within seeing that I only feed my ego as vanity and self-righteousness and harm and abuse my only connection to earth and reality which is my physical body

Day 22 – Climb Up from the Alco-hole

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to defend and support alcohol even though it’s a strong neurotoxin associated with significant mortality that damages cell tissue, heart, liver and has consistently been related to numerous cancers

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to defend and support alcohol in spite of the vast amount of abusive home situations of violence and child neglect it causes

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore that alcohol is involved in most car accidents

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore that alcohol is involved in most rape cases

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore that alcohol is involved in most cases of street violence

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust the science reports that proclaim that alcohol has great health benefits and “is good for your heart”, and that I within that completely disregard and ignore that alcohol-related injury is the number one cause of death in the 15 to 30 years old age group; that alcohol is a well-established risk factor for numerous cancers; the vast amount of violent acts caused by intoxicated people; that while preventing certain types of heart disease, alcohol has been clearly linked to heart rhythm problems and cardiomyopathy leading to congestive heart failure and also completely disregard the fact that most heart-diseases are linked to the life-style of the current system

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the reactions of family and friends if I stop drinking alcohol and that I will lose my friends if I stop drinking alcohol and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to question the fact that most of my friend relationships to a large extent revolve around alcohol

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to equate alcohol/being drunk with “Life”/being alive and to not see that it rather adds to the separation from the physical/life and reinforce the illusion that is the mind consciousness system

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to question that one is generally mocked and seen as “weird” in our society when one is taking the decision to stop alcohol

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that alcohol is primarily used as a coping mechanism in relation to the current monetary system where stress and fear of survival governs one’s daily life

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is within my own free will/choice that I drink alcohol, failing to see that my so called “free will” is programmed and conditioned by media/school/family

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to ask myself where  my “free will” was when I was pumped with propaganda from the alcohol industry through media as a child, where my “free will” was when I was exposed to the normalization of the use of alcohol in TV-shows and movies and where my “free will” was when I saw my parents getting drunk every weekend

I as a parent forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to reprimand and be angry with my children when I have caught them drinking alcohol, failing to see that it was I who taught them to drink

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to go back in my life to see when/how/why I began drinking alcohol in the first place

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore that my initial starting point of drinking alcohol was to be able to express myself in ways I wouldn’t dare expressing myself in when “sober” and to get rid of the anxiety and uncomfortability I experienced in social contexts, and still to this day has the same starting point even though it’s hidden behind numerous justifications and excuses

I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to create a persona/identity around drinking alcohol – “the connoisseur” –   and use words as “tradition”, “culture”, “sophistication”, “interest” and “hobby” to justify my addiction and abuse and hide my original starting point

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to question the idea and belief that I need an external “lubricant” to be able to express myself in ways that I don’t dare to express myself in while “sober”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be self-honest about drinking alcohol to get sex and to dare approaching women

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take pride in my numerous alcohol adventures and retell and boast about them with great euphoria, ignoring that most of these “adventures” were associated with physical harm, discomfort and embarrassment

I commit myself to question and face myself within the points of stress and anxiety instead of suppressing them with alcohol

I commit myself to take and walk a principled decision to stop and ban alcohol from my life, because within drinking alcohol I suppress and accumulate the points I require to face and supports my own enslavement to the mind consciousness system

I commit myself to take and walk a principled decision to stop and ban alcohol from my life based on the daily atrocities that are fueled by alcohol

I commit myself to investigate the Equal Money System, a system wherein stress, fear and anxiety would no longer influence me in my daily life

Must See/Read vlogs and blogs in relation to alcohol:
Alcohol has been classified as a Central Nervous System Depressant Drug
2011 Why is Society based on Alcohol?
2010 I Use Alcohol on a Regular Basis
Equal Money will end all alcohol!
Alcohol and Sexual Promiscuity
Alcohol Anyone?
Do Drugs And Alcohol Let Me Experience My True Self?
Day 42: Toxic Fun–Drugs as Enslavement

Day 21 – Physical Comparison – Part 1

I am working with writing out self-forgiveness statements in context to self-judgments specifically looking at comparisons.

Here is one of the memories that came up in relation to this topic whereby I am releasing myself from these designs within and as myself and walking the commitment statements into physical manifestation of my self-expression.

I experienced an event where I felt that other people saw me as incapable of doing something. This event triggered a point within me where I became angry because I felt that I was undermined. It felt like I was being treated like a child and I felt like they saw me as incapable of doing the job.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally and go into anger and feel diminished and undermined when someone that I define as superior to me gets to do physical duties that I was supposed to be doing, such as lifting/moving heavy things, within perceiving it as losing a chance to prove my “worth” as a man, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my physical body/abilities with other men/guys and within that comparison define and judge myself as weak and thus inferior to other guys/men and within that I forgive myself for accepting and I allowing myself to define physically stronger guys/men as superior to me and thus super-impose a mental idea on the physical reality

I commit myself to stop comparing myself to other men in terms of physical ability and judge and define myself according to that comparison, because I see the ludicrousness of judging and taking my physical design personally

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience it as if though I’m undermined within perceiving it as if though men/guys that are physically stronger than me are deliberately trying to put me down, not realizing that I’m participating in imagination and assumption where I project my own self-created self-judgment onto the one I perceive undermines me/treat me as a child and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to  judge and define myself as a child

I commit myself to stop myself from taking it personally and going into jealousy and feeling undermined when someone gets to do physical duties and I am ignored in the process. I realize within this that I’m participating in an alternate reality in my mind where I am reacting to my self-judgment about myself not being strong enough, thus turning it into an experience where I feel that I am undermined. and thus I commit myself to remain here by looking at/assessing the event with practical eyes and seeing things for what they really are within and as the practicality of the physical – and I support myself to not allow myself to create additional mind projections of people not seeing my value

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into resentment, anger and self-pity when I perceive/assume that someone is deliberately ignoring me

I commit myself to support myself to not go into anger, resentment and self-pity when I perceive myself to be ignored, because I see that I’m creating and internalizing an emotional energy out of a physical event where I have created the desire within myself to be heard. I hereby commit myself to listen to myself as who I am as a living breathing being, not allowing my mind to dominate the physical and ignore what is here

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to FEEL ignored when someone is physically ignoring me, experiencing it as if I am harmed/hurt for real in any way by being ignored, thus I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see that I’m responsible for creating the experience of feeling ignored and I forgive myself for not allowing  myself to see that emotional harm is in no way real or substantial

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the experience of feeling ignored by going into the backchat of “why won’t they listen to me”

I commit myself to direct and support myself to remain in the physical by stopping and not participating in the backchat in relation to feeling ignored, because I see that I’m sabotaging myself in wallowing in the self-pity of feeling ignored within creating a definition, personality and belief of myself as “ignored” and “nobody is listening to me” where I incapacitate myself and withdraw from human relations. I hereby commit myself to not accept and allow the backchat within and as myself to direct who I am as a living expression of me, but to instead direct who I am within my physical environment by considering what is here in every breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take it personally when someone that is physically more capable than me gets to do physical duties that I was supposed to do

I commit myself to stop taking it personally when someone that is physically more capable than me gets to do physical duties, by considering the practicality of having the most physically suitable being perform the duty

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to prove my worth as a man to people I define as authority/superior to me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the programming as what it is to be a man to direct and influence me

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place a value in the programming/accepted norms of what it is to be a man

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself according to the programming of what it is to be a man

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fall into the trap (by wanting to prove myself) created by self by accepting what it is to be defined as a man

I commit myself to identify and the stop the creations as beliefs and ideas within and as myself that I have blindly accepted through the programming of ‘the creators that came before me’, and I hereby commit myself to clear this programming within and as myself to stand clear within and as myself to what is best for life and not what is based in competition and survival

I commit myself to stop the preprogrammed design of my physical appearance as thoughts and as desires within and as myself as I have seen realized and understood that this preprogrammed design is based within the commercialization of the human physical body as well as the commercialization of a ‘good life’ which I have seen and realized is only picture presentation which is commercialized to be sold, and does not exist as an actual experience within the physical reality

I commit myself to stop and not accept and allow desires within and as myself of wanting to prove myself to other men, as I have seen and realized that the desire is part of the preprogrammed design that I have accepted and allowed within and as myself which I am trying to manifest within my physical world

I hereby commit myself to not accept and allow the judgments that come up within me in relation to my ‘physical body’ as I have seen and realized that the judgment that I have are all in relation to the commercialization of the human physical body that I have internalized as an idea within and as myself that I am comparing my physical body to. I allow myself to realize that it is ludicrous to compare myself to an idea

I commit myself to expose within and as myself and myself as another, the nature of judgment of physical appearance as a means to undermine the expression and value of a person as a living being

When I see myself performing physical duties within the starting point of wanting to prove myself to men that are physically more capable than me, I stop myself, breathe myself back to the physical and equalize myself to what I’m doing within the starting point of support, because I see that I’m trapping myself within a polarity construct in which I will always have some point to live up to and judge myself as inferior to

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my worth according to the collectively accepted and allowed social norms/standards of how a man is supposed to be and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to live up to these standards

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I’m not fulfilled within not being able to live up to the expectations of how I as a man is supposed to be because I’m not as physically capable as men in general

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place expectations on myself based on fulfilling ideas in separation from self and the physical

I commit myself to stop placing a worth outside of/in separation from myself as an idea within my mind, and to stop trying to live up to the social norms and standards of what it is to be a man because I see that I’m confining, limiting and subjecting myself to constructed ideas that in no way support myself or a life that is best for all and I see that by placing worth in living up to the standards of what it is to be a man in the current system I am perpetuating and upholding a belief that one’s worth is determined by a set of programmed ideals